Women of Faith - Loved 2015

I was able to attend Women of Faith in Billings, Montana on April 24 - 25,  2015.  Our pastor at my church asked if anyone wanted to share what we had learned during our time there.  This is what I shared on Sunday morning, May 3, 2015  If you were unable to hear me speak.

Good morning! My name is Julie Dunham.  I had the privilege of attending Women of Faith last weekend.  It was a great time of fellowship and learning.  :)  I'm pretty sure that's what I'm supposed to say anyway.  But there is so much more that I need to share about my journey.  

As I mentioned,  my name is Julie Dunham although some of you know me as Julie Johnson even though for the last 17 years it's been different.  That's okay. I can claim my family.  If you were at the new church banquet the other night, my parents, Pat and Jerry Johnson spoke about the church's history.  I am a product of that history. My grandparents were in those old pictures and helped to start our church.  Anyway, this church has been part of my life since before I was born - my parents were married and attended when my mom was expecting me.  I grew up here and went to Sunday School, Kid's church, camp, youth group, youth convention, and the list goes on.  I learned about how God has a plan for each of us and believed that was true.

I was just sure that God would be with me and bless my plan.  Isn't that how it works?

I had it all planned out. 

• Go to college
• I would meet the most fabulous Christian man
• graduate as a pediatrician
• get married
• have my 2.5 kids
• live happily ever after. 

Then life happened

I went away to college at Indiana Wesleyan University that is almost exactly 1200 miles away from my parents porch and everything I knew.  I knew I was supposed to be there and God sent me there to learn to trust Him more.  I could quote the verses and tell you what they meant, but until I was away from all that was familiar,  I didn't really get it. God showed me that He is really in charge of things, not me. 

My plan had been adjusted, tweaked a little, but it was still acceptable.

• Go to college and learn who is really in charge - check
• I would meet the most fabulous Christian man
• graduate as a pediatrician
• get married
• have my 2.5 kids
• live happily ever after. 

Then life happened.  Again.

I discovered that as much as I liked kids, sick ones weren't really that great.  Julie wanted to be a doctor because she for sure wasn't gonna be a teacher like her mom and her grandma were.  That was way too much work.  But God kept nudging me that His plans were the right ones. Even though I have always been a bit stubborn - thank you grandma!  God won and I have been a teacher since I graduated. I wouldn't have it any other way.  God knew what was best for me at college and I eventually figured out that His plan is the best one.

While I was at college, I was diagnosed with depression.   That was not part my life plan.  Again, God knew that I needed to struggle to learn so I could be a more effective and empathetic teacher for my struggling students.  I had never really had to work to learn.  Learning was always easy for me and didn't require much effort.  But when you have depression, your brain rearranges things and doesn't allow you to find them easily,  life changes.   God seems far away and I can say now that depression has taught me to trust Him in a whole new way.  It's taken me literally half my life to get to that point,  but it was an important part of His plan. 

My plan had been adjusted, but it was still acceptable.

• Go to college and learn who is really in charge - check
• Struggle with depression - check
• Study to be a teacher - check
• meet the most fabulous Christian man
• get married
• have my 2.5 kids
• live happily ever after. 

Then life happened. Again.

I hadn't got to the "meet the most fabulous Christian man" part of my plan yet and I was running out of time.  I was student teaching. The last thing before graduating in December.   I worked with this strange guy in the student center game room.  I had given up on my plan.  That's when God showed me a better one.  It turns out he really wasn't all that strange and we went on our first date in November, I graduated in December we were engaged on Valentines Day, he graduate in April, and we were married in June.  Right here on this platform.  Well actually, I was over here a little farther.   

My plan had been adjusted yet again, but it was still acceptable.

• Go to college and learn who is really in charge - check
• Struggle with depression - check
• Study and graduate as a teacher - check
• meet the most fabulous Christian man during a very stressful time in my life - check
• get married - check
• have my 2.5 kids
• live happily ever after. 

Then life happened. But again, God showed me a better plan.

All that was left on mt list was have my 2.5 kids and live "happily" ever after which is a bit ironic for a person with depression to say.  Happily didn't show up and neither did the kids.  I ended up in a mental hospital, all four of my grandparents went Heaven, my fabulous husband was fired from his job for wanting to take me to the hospital, and God seemed very far away.  Its taken awhile to realize that He is still here. In my messy unplanned life.

That was one of the amazing things about the speakers last weekend.   Each of them had stories about their lives that were similar to mine. Not necessarily in content, but the overall theme was God's love. Things do not go according  to our limited human plans, but God showing us how He is always in charge, He loves us. He sees us.  He knows our  pain. But, Your history does not dictate your destiny.

Sheila Walsh, one of the speakers, shared her story, that like mine, includes depression and a mental hospital.  She shared how God allowed her life to really hit the wall in order to be broken and real with those around her.  She also shared

Psalm 34:18 ESV

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. 

It wasn't until she was truly heartbroken and crushed in spirit that she was able to allow God to use her story to inspire others.  Like me.  And possibly you. 

Another interesting thing has been happening in my devotions surrounding Women of Faith.   Verses of trusting God's plan and how He has our best interests in mind when we struggle keep showing up.  Even this morning!   Here is one God has put in my path more than once.    

Philippians 4:11-13 ESV

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Matthew 19:26 ESV

But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

My life also reminds me of that annoying infomercial tag line "but wait, there's more!" But God is saying, for the cost of trusting my plan, there are more blessings than you ever thought possible.   There is always more in His plan and it is quite the adventure discovering how all the pieces ultimately connect to make a beautiful tapestry of a blessed life no matter the circumstances that we sure didn't plan, but God did. 

Thank you. :)